Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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