Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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