Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
