also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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