was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize