i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
