he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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