I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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