just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
