My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
