Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
