last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
