Will you blow on my dice?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
