Christians are straight up FREAKS
She said her name was "party"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
