help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
