he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
