"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize