clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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