Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
