ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
