i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
