i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize