Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
