the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
where are my eyebrows?
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