My pussy is not your playground.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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