i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
