I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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