Having a random hookup so left but love u
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
