I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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