The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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