so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
