Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
