Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
