Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
