My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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