I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize