My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize