bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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