If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
