I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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