Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize