whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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