The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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