I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
