Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
