thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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