The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
