marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
