i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize