I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
