she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
