so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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