I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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