my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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