I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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