do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize