used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize