Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
