wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just found puke in my bra..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
